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#iHunt: The 101 Shit

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Here’s a little cut text from #iHunt: The RPG. We’re releasing soon, so there’s a lot of scraps that aren’t bad, but didn’t make the final pass.


Murder. It haunts you. You wake up in cold sweats, thinking about the victims. Even the worst of them, the true villains in the world, you’ll see the look in their eyes the moment you snuffed out their life every time your mind wanders. Every single life you take, it erodes a little bit of your soul. Eventually, if you want to remain functional, you become an unfeeling husk. You stop thinking of people in terms of names or identities. You protect some. You kill some. You become a machine. You become—

Sorry. I couldn’t keep saying that shit with a straight face. 

You want to know about murder? Murder’s murder. Sometimes it’s fun. Sometimes it’s exciting. It’s usually gross. Once you’re used to it, usually it’s just boring. 

The guy on your phone screen, the guy you’ve got to kill, he killed…who fucking knows how many people. He’ll do it again. If you spend too long thinking about it, too long focused on weird ideas about morality, you get your shit killed. Hunting monsters is kill or be killed. Most people don’t have the privilege of choosing—monsters just fucking kill them. When you’re a hunter, the only thing between you and death is failure. 

Lifehack: Don’t fail.

That might feel like it’s more complicated than it sounds. But it’s really not. You decide you’re not going to fail, and you do whatever in the fuck it takes to succeed. The trick is that if something would result in your failing, don’t do that thing. 

Hunting monsters is a complicated job. There’s a lot of things I’m going to teach you, from sweeping the leg to which side of the neck you should hit with a machete if you want the head to come clean off. Spoiler: It’s the back. But the single most important thing I can teach you is do not fail. Under no circumstances should you ever fail. If you keep that in mind, you should do fine. 

I’m Lana. I hunt monsters. I’ve been doing this for fifteen years. The reason I’m alive right now is because I didn’t fail. Do the same, and you’ve got a fulfilling career ahead of you.